


The Three Musketeers

by sungjiins



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, M/M, asra is an art student, chat fic, i still dont know what nadia does, julian needs major help, julians a doctor unsurprisingly, just a fun little depiction of what i think their life as flatmates would be like, nadia is Flawless!, oh did i mention they were flatmates, shes just a general queen, ships aren't very prominent so don't worry if they don't appeal to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungjiins/pseuds/sungjiins
Summary: Nadia:I have had ENOUGH of this clown’s behaviour for today, and it’s only 9am. Asra, I will not be able to pick you up from your art class today because of this damn fool. I apologise.chaos ensues
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak, Lucio/Nadia (The Arcana)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	1. the kidnapping

_julian devorak created the group chat “The Three Incredibly Cool and Sexy Musketeers”._

**Nadia:** What’s this? Do we really need another chat for the three of us?

 **julian:** Absolutely!!! The other one’s for Serious Household Topics, Nadia dearest. This is the one in which we can fool around as they say :^)

 **Nadia:** I distinctly remember you ‘fooling around’ on our other chat just this morning at 3am.

 **julian:** you have not experienced the full brunt of my foolishness

 **Nadia:** Thank god for that. Please keep it to yourself.

 **julian:** You break my heart milady :(  
**julian:** where’s asra anyway??

 **Nadia:** At his art course. He was in quite a rush at breakfast.  
**Nadia:** …speaking of which, where were you at breakfast? We couldn’t find you in your room. Did you even get back home last night?

 **julian:** hahahahaha anyway

 **Nadia:** Devorak, where _are_ you?

 **julian:** Work may have! Been rough yesterday! So I may have decided to stop at the pub for a drink! Which turned into multiple drinks! And I could not return home! So a stranger offered to let me sleep in their house! And I may still be there!

 **Nadia:** I  
**Nadia:** I’m not surprised  
**Nadia:** Just severely disappointed

 **julian:** :D

 **Nadia:** So do you want me to pick you up from their house or are you planning on walking back?

 **julian:** that’s the thing you see! The dude that took me back home is out of the house and he’s locked me in :/

 **Nadia:** Oh dear lord, I feel an oncoming headache.

 **aswa:** hiiiiiii whats going on lemme read the whole convo ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ  
**aswa:** .  
**aswa:** ilya i hope u know that youre the single biggest dumbass in the history of mankind <3

 **Nadia:** Seconded.

 **julian:** it’s great that we all agree on something!! Really hyped about that!! But let’s concentrate on how to get me the fuck out of this creep’s house

 **aswa:** creep?? idk he offered to let u spend a night at his house thats pretty nice of him if u ask me~

 **julian:** Asra. This guy has two REPUGNANT dogs with RED eyes that haven’t stopped growling at me since I arrived  
**julian:** I’d send you a photo but they’d eat my phone

 **Nadia:** For Christ’s sake, Julian, the least you could do is turn on your GPS and send us your location. How else do you want us to come and get you???

 **julian:** oh yeah  
**julian:** _Sent a location: 53rd Avenue, Vesuvian Heights_

 **aswa:** vesuvian heights!! damn wtf ilya u been kidnapped by a millionaire?

 **julian:** now that you mention it…his house is pretty swanky  
**julian:** Hey this guy’s got a pool!!!

 **Nadia:** JULIAN NO

 **aswa:** there goes nadi’s sanity

 **Nadia:** I have had ENOUGH of this clown’s behaviour for today, and it’s only 9am. Asra, I will not be able to pick you up from your art class today because of this damn fool. I apologise.

 **aswa:** don’t worry about me nadi ＼(≧▽≦)／ i’ll take the bus

 **Nadia:** Julian, you are so lucky to have Asra.  
**Nadia:** If you’re not out of the pool by the time I reach the place, I’ll leave.

 **aswa:** but how r u planning to get him out? isn’t he locked in???

 **Nadia:** Stone. Window. Break. Run.  
**Nadia:** sorry I just started driving I can’t type right now so I’m using the speech-to-text command asra please buy some milk on your way home WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY LANE 

**aswa:** oki nadi have a safe drive, bonk julian on the head for me!

_[9:40am]_

**Nadia:** Julian, I’ve tried calling you three times now. Where are you.  
**Nadia:** Boy, you do NOT want to see me worried.

 **julian:** nadia darling! I have been locked in a closet I am scared

 **Nadia:** Excuse me?!

 **julian:** I can’t answer your call incase he hears me talking because he doesn’t know I have my phone BUT PLEASE HELP IT REEKS IN HERE.

 **Nadia:** Don’t worry, I’ll get you out. Let me think how to approach him.

 **julian:** just pretend to be a pizza delivery woman or something and then kick him in the nuts

 **Nadia:** …you might actually be onto something there.

 **julian:** I always am! ;) ;)  
**julian:** Ok it’s been six minutes where are you

 **Nadia:** You can’t rush perfection, Julian.

 **julian:** oh by all means, take your time! But please also get me out  
**julian:** I HEAR THE DOORBELL RING my knight in shining armour has arrived

_[10:20am]_

**aswa:** hey guys im on the bus now (⌒‿⌒) are both of you ok??

 **julian:** we are SUPERB  
**julian:** You missed all the action :(

 **aswa:** boy am i glad about that

 **julian:** Ok so  
**julian:** Nadia, the ever-creative queen, decided to dress up as spiderman (?) and rang the doorbell. the dude who’d kidnapped me (looked kind of sexy not gonna lie Anyway back to the story) opened it, only to get socked in the face by this Goddess’ Power. so nadia threw him into the pool like the boss bitch that she is, and found the key to the closet I was locked in and soon I was a FREE MAN, ready to roam the seven seas, forever grateful to this beautiful spiderman-dressed maiden, that is my flatmate. I owe you my life, Nadia dear. I am yours to keep. Treat me however you want. 

**aswa:** woahahwoahahah back the fuck UP lemme read all of that

 **Nadia:** It’s quite alright, Julian. I don’t particularly want you as my slave. Asra can have you.

 **aswa:** >:)

 **julian:** fuck

 **aswa:** anyway are u sure u don’t wanna report that dude to the police? he sounds very sus very bad

 **julian:** Nahhh I think he’s going through a rough patch idk  
**julian:** When he reached his home he was carrying a whole shopping bag full of red bull cans. and his eyes were Very red so he either has conjunctivitis _or_ has been crying a lot.  
**julian:** I hope it’s the latter because conjunctivitis is contagious

 **aswa:** yeah don’t report him that dude is Struggling ╮(︶▽︶)╭

 **Nadia:** Oh, Asra, did you remember to buy the milk?

 **aswa:** milk???  
**aswa:** whats milk!!!!!

 **Nadia:** Ugh

 **aswa:** kill me im jumping off this bus

 **julian:** you had ONE job

 **aswa:** oh shut up mr ‘i got myself kidnapped at the age of 24’

 **julian:** -_-

_[8am, the next morning]_

**julian:** _Attached image of his red ass eye_  
**julian:** guys I think he had conjunctivitis


	2. the owlery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio goes to meet Nadia's owly companion and brings along their familiars too! Also, Asra will probably never use Uber again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a ummm normal story-style written portion in this chapter! sorry not sorry for the asrian in this i luv them

**aswa** : ilya  
**aswa** : why is there a bird outside the living room window that has been continuously cawing for 12 minutes

 **julian** : why are you asking ME? Do I look like a birdman to you? A bird wrangler? what are they called

 **aswa** : _because_ , ilya love, ive seen it hanging out with you before!!!!

 **julian** : Oh you mean malak

 **aswa** : you named it???

 **julian** : why are you acting like you don’t have your own SNAKE asra

 **aswa** : because i have legally Adopted faust u fool i didnt just pick her off the street! (￣ ヘ ￣)

 **julian** : I don’t think malak would appreciate being adopted. He is a Free Spirit like yours truly B)

 **aswa** : yea hes free alright  
**aswa** : free to leave me in PEACE

 **Nadia** : Asra, why are you acting like you didn’t just offer him an assortment of dried fruit and nuts.

 **aswa** : i am not ashamed to admit that i take care of my guests!!!  
**aswa** : even the most annoying ones  
**aswa** : but HE. has overstayed his welcome  
**aswa** : no more nuts for u malak >:(

 **Nadia** : He says, as he lets Malak in through the window and starts to pet him.

 **julian** : He’s letting you pet him?!!! He doesn’t even let ME do that???

 **aswa** : i guess he just likes me more :p  
**aswa** : .. he’s so cute!!!!! (＠ ＾ ◡ ＾)

 **julian** : Just like me! Must be why we get along so well

 **aswa** : malak is Miles prettier than u ilya. i hope u know that

 **julian** : Sweet, little asra, always at my throat <3 maybe that’s why I love you

 **aswa** : die Peasant

 **Nadia** : Speaking of pets, have you both met my darling Chandra?

 **aswa** : is she the beautiful owl that i saw in your owlery once?

 **Nadia** : That’s the one! Pearlescent colour, lovely eyes. She’s a beauty :)

 **julian** : Nadia using an emoticon to describe this bird??? Damn, I really have to meet her now  
**julian** : Wait, you have an OWLERY? How come I’ve never been??

 **Nadia** : Because you’re either passed out at a bar or working at the hospital.

 **julian** : Fair enough  
**julian** : it’s Thursday today, right? I’ll make sure to drop by after my shift ends tomorrow  
**julian** : Does this Chandra like treats and other Birdly visitors??

 **Nadia** : I doubt she’d eat anything you give her, Julian. But I don’t think taking Malak with you will be a problem.

 **aswa** : how about we all meet up at the owlery then??? i’ll bring faust too, she’ll be so excited to make new friends!!!

 **julian** : Oh god NOT YOUR SNAKE

 **aswa** : for the bajillionth time, ilya, she’s HARMLESS  
**aswa** : the worst she’ll do to you is give u a big squeeze

 **julian** : Have you never watched man vs wild???? a ‘squeeze’ from a snake means certain death I have seen it with my own eyes I WILL NEVER MAKE IT OUT ALIVE

 **Nadia** : This is another one of those days on which I question why you didn’t major in Theatre, Julian.

 **julian** : I would be good at theatre, wouldn’t I? 

**aswa** : that wasn’t meant to be a compliment u idiot (￣︿￣)  
**aswa** : anyway my classes are abt to start so ill see you two at home <33

 **Nadia** : Have a good day, Asra!

 **julian** : You should draw me one of these days, ehhh? I can pose like one of your French girls ;)))

 **aswa** : society has progressed past the need for titanic jokes ilya

_[Friday, 6:00pm]_

**julian** : I’ve reached the owlery! Where are you guys??

 **aswa** : i’ve just arrived AAAAAA the journey was torturous  
**aswa** : my first uber driver was sus as FUCK you would not believe the shit he was saying about worms….i wont type it out or you guys might lose ur sanity  
**aswa** : but yeah that ride was potentially life threatening so i had him drop me off at the supermarket near our apartment and booked a new ride  
**aswa** : and my second driver, you ask??? not normal either. their skin was tinged kinda green so i asked them whether they were feeling sick and they just. smiled at me with their razor teeth showing and all so i just went :) and prayed to god that id reach the owlery alive

 **julian** : Jesus asra, are you currently in hell?? Their skin was green? Are you sure your uber driver wasn’t a relative of Shrek’s??

 **aswa** : no ilya i’m not sure. i just got out of the car and i am scared for my life  
**aswa** : at least i have faust with me whew

 **Nadia** : Somehow the worm man rings a bell…

 **aswa** : well make that bell stop ringing wtf!!!! why do u know WORM people nadi??

 **julian** : Idk asra, now that I think about it, I may have seen a green person crawling around in the hospital somewhere

 **aswa** : so you admit ogres too?? i cannot believe the day i am having  
**aswa** : lets go meet nadias owl before i lose my mind (× _ ×)

 **Nadia** : Agreed. I can’t wait for you both to meet my lovely Chandra!

 **julian** : Malak can’t wait either apparently. He’s cawing so loudly that the guard won’t let us in even though I keep telling them that I’m a friend of Nadia Satrinava :/

 **Nadia** : Ludovico’s good like that. I’ll be at the entrance in two minutes, I’ll let you in then.

 **julian** : Oh it’s alright…Asra just arrived and they let me in with him -_- blatant favouritism

 **aswa** : its because ive been here before stupid

 **julian** : You wound me with your barrage of insults, Asra dear

 **Nadia** : Are you guys…texting while walking alongside each other?

 **julian** : well, we wouldn’t want you to miss out on all the fun!

 **Nadia** : Mhm I’m sure. Now _speak_ to each other, you idiots!

 **aswa** : (︶︹︺)

\---

“Lovely place, this,” Julian breathed, admiring the quaint, little owl-home Nadia had put together. It wasn’t large, but neither was it too small. He could see that all the owls were properly taken care of in the cozy centre. 

Asra walked next to him, looking snug in the maroon shawl that he had wrapped around himself. Faust was curled around his shoulders, snuggling into the warmth of the apparel. Despite Julian’s fear of the lilac noodle, he drank in the sight of one of his favourite people looking so relaxed. Even after his seemingly chaotic Uber experience.

“Isn’t it? It’s a shame we haven’t visited it more often.” Asra graced him with a soft smile, violet gaze moving to where Malak was perched on Julian’s arm. The raven wasn’t flapping its wings in a frenzy for once, but looked as calm as Julian felt. 

“He’s calmed down, hasn’t he?” his flatmate giggled, evoking a familiar, airy feeling within Julian. “I guess he likes this place too.”

“Oh, he simply adores it! Don’t you, you troublemaker?” Julian said, stroking Malak’s side. The bird gave a loud ‘caw’ in reply and took off from his arm, gliding along the open corridor.

“I…think that was a yes.”

Asra grinned at him before turning his head at the sound of approaching footsteps. Nadia had arrived, her hair carefully braided and her smile almost luminescent. 

“It’s great to see you two here, at last. Let me show you Chandra’s favourite spot. She’ll probably be there.”

She led the two to a small well-maintained garden, in which many owls were roosting, savouring the last bits of the day’s sun. A variety of trees had been planted in the small space, giving the birds some perching room. It looked so peaceful that Julian was ready to lay himself upon the grass and join the creatures in their nap. 

Nadia approached a miniature fountain that was positioned at the centre of the greenery. What seemed to be the Mona Lisa of all owls, was settled on its edge, preening her feathers in a royal manner. Malak, who’d reached her first, was already sat beside her, screaming in her face—Julian had never in his life, seen an animal express annoyance as clearly as Chandra was.

“This is my close companion, Chandra. She’s usually quite polite…” Nadia explained, grimacing at the way the two birds were now flapping their wings against one another, apparently engaged in battle. Faust poked her head out from under Asra’s scarf at the sound of the commotion.

“It’s alright, girlie, they’re friends!” Asra cooed, gently stroking her head. She eyed the two birds warily, proceeding to blep at them when they stopped their fight in favour of staring back at her.

“Oh look, they’re all best pals now!” Julian almost squealed, feeling like a proud father. He could see it now…taking the three of them on small outings in the city…buying them toys…starting a pet-related blog…the future was Theirs. He could see Nadia and Asra having similar thoughts, and for a regretful minute, forgot all about his deathly fear of Faust, in all his glee.

Unfortunately, a minute was all that _damned_ snake needed, to make a sneaky beeline for his waist and give him the tightest hug of his life.

\---

**Nadia** : Did you really have to wake up the entire owlery because of that harmless little hug, Julian? Did you?

 **julian** : That was a whole death grip! An attempt at murder!! Why are neither of you sympathising with me??

 **aswa** : oh come on ilya, u should know that faust has more class than that. she’d kill you in a much cooler place >:)

 **Nadia** : Asra, I dearly hope you are not implying that my owlery is ‘uncool’

 **aswa** : ahahah i wouldn’t dream of it nadi!!! ur owlery is magnificent, a 10/10 spot for committing crimes:)))

 **Nadia** : Good. You are safe.  
**Nadia** : Well, apart from Julian accidentally turning a whole specie of Bird against him, I’d say that today was quite enjoyable!

 **julian** : Ugh I hate to say I agree. At least malak had a good time, he was cawing twice as loud as usual when I said goodbye to him

 **aswa** : faust and i had a great time too! shes been really wriggly, its good to see her so happy!! ♡ (◡‿◡)

 **Nadia** : I’m glad you two enjoyed it :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are owleries even real or are they just in harry potter i am so tired sorry if this chapter did not make sense


	3. a small world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio talk about a few familiar faces. Asra is in trouble. The usual.

**julian:** Hey Asra you know that green uber driver you were screaming about the other day??  
**julian:** yeah well I wasn't kidding when I said I've seen them around the hospital before  
**julian:** APPARENTLY THEYRE THE HEAD SURGEON?!??

 **aswa:** but i thought they were an uber driver?

 **julian:** Don't ask me!!! I've barely interacted with them and im not about to start now  
**julian:** My head of department, Nazali, told me some … strange rumours about them to say the least

 **Nadia:** Oh, 'strange' is an understatement.

 **julian:** you know them Nadia?

 **Nadia:** Nazali's definitely told a few dinner time stories about them before. They're called Valdemar, if I'm not mistaken?

 **julian:** yeah  
**julian:** wait  
**julian:** YOU KNOW NAZALI???

 **Nadia:** Did you not know we were related? They're a sibling of mine Julian  
**Nadia:** Frankly, I'm hurt that you don't remember my family stories

 **julian:** It escaped my mind milady i kiss your feet for ur forgiveness  
**julian:** it really is a small world though isnt it :/

 **aswa:** im in class rn u guys are blowing up my phone -_-  
**aswa:** but it _is_ weird that we know the same weirdo  
**aswa:** uh ALSO

 **Nadia:** Hmm?

 **aswa:** the dude whos come in to model for our anatomy studies……  
**aswa:** is he by any chance ilya's kidnapper

 **julian:** WHAT

 **aswa:** I DONT FUCKIGN KNOW  
**aswa:** HE HAS BLOND HAIR AND RED SCLERAS? AND HE WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT HIS DOGS AND HE SAYS HE LIVES IN VESUVIAN HEIGHTS  
**aswa:** how many people do we know like that ilya

 **julian:** but  
**julian:** BUT WHY IS THAT INBRED VERMIN A MODEL????WHO MADE THIS DECISION?  
**julian:** I'm so sorry you had to witness that hideous man, asra darling

 **aswa:** thank u for ur concern….the only thing hes wearing is leopard print underwear ( ╥ω╥ )  
**aswa:** i feel scandalized

 **Nadia:** Your poor, accursed eyes. I had the misfortune of seeing him even through the eyes of my Spiderman costume and it's safe to say that it was not my ideal Sunday  
**Nadia:** Did you catch his name by any chance?

 **aswa:** 'count' lucio morgasson . dont forget the count, he says

 **julian:** Ugly ass name  
**julian:** well my break's about to finish although I can't say I enjoyed it..stay safe asra dont get kidnapped

 **Nadia:** Right. I don't want to have to get into the Spiderman costume again, personally.

 **aswa:** it really is a small world huh….

**_[3.40 pm]_ **

**aswa:** oh GREAT we're at the same grocery store  
**aswa:** hes buying golden goose i wanna trip him up so bad  
**aswa:** not. because hes buying golden goose. thats actually good taste (︶︹︺)

 **Nadia:** Oh Lord, I hope he doesn't try anything funny around you

 **aswa:** i dont think hes actually that tough i mean Sure he has a prosthetic golden arm but! all he talks abt is his face and his dogs

**_[3.44pm]_ **

**aswa:** I TAKE THAT BACK I TAKE THAT BACK  
**aswa:** THIS DUDE TRIED TO MUG HIM OUTSIDE THE SHOP AND HE KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD  
**aswa:** _[Attached video clip]_

 **julian:** That was so damn smooth!!!!  
**julian:** i mean what. He kidnapped me!!! Terrible moves

 **Nadia:** He's not the worst?

 **aswa:** oh god oh fuck i wouldnt say that just yet nadi

 **Nadia:** Has something happened again.

 **aswa:** he saw me recording him and now he thinks im tryna get video evidence to send to the police send help (╥_╥)

 **julian:** Oh this has happened to me before in Prakra  
**julian:** MAKE A RUN FOR IT

 **aswa:** NO OFFENCE ILYA BUT THATS THE WORST IDEA he looks like a fuckingb athlete and im not Slow but im not usain bolt either now am i

 **Nadia:** Should I drive over, Asra?

 **aswa:** no nadi i think i got this!

**_[4.00pm]_ **

**aswa:** THAT WAS HILARIOSU PLEASE

 **julian:** Oh thank god youre ALIVE  
**julian:** How did u escape, oh great soldier

 **aswa:** i offered to tell his fortune :p

 **Nadia:** YOU DID NO SUCH THING.

 **aswa:** OH YES I DID  
**aswa:** he looked furious for a moment but then the dumbass agreed to it  
**aswa:** so i brought him to a quiet street corner and told him that i knew of his two dogs and that 'two sundays ago you were thrown into your own pool due to external aggressions'

 **julian:** 'External aggressions' makes it sound like Nadia and i are jacked up hitmen  
**julian:** and I love that

 **aswa:** oh i knew u would ilya<3  
**aswa:** so he looked totally spooked and then i told him that if he didnt stay locked up at home for the next 2 days, spiderman would pay him another visit

 **Nadia:** I'm laughing so hard I dropped my reading book Asra please stop

 **aswa:** im not done yet nadi >:)  
**aswa:** ok so then he looked like he'd pissed his pants right in front of me and i thought id WON  
**aswa:** but then the fucker goes "wait werent you at the art class i modeled for this morning"

 **julian:** holy FUCK

 **aswa:** so then i took ilyas advice and made a run for it (╥_╥)

 **Nadia:** My lungs,,,my lungs…

 **julian:** MINE TOO OH MY GOD you're lucky my shift ended Asra or youd be seeing me at a mental institution next

 **aswa:** i think thats where ur headed anyway  
**aswa:** but my god I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN  
**aswa:** im gonna go home and take a nap with faust i am shaking

 **Nadia:** By all means, alleviate your trauma  
**Nadia:** By the way, should I turn up at his doorstep in my Spiderman outfit in two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF FOCUS ON NADIA she will get her own adventure very soon i promise


	4. a major problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asra is so, so devastated. Somebody help him.

**aswa** : hello

 **julian** : Have you ever thought about leeches in your ass?

 **aswa** : un-hello

 **julian** : Where are u going was it something I said

 **aswa** : where is nadia

 **Nadia** : LEECHES IN YOUR ASS??? WHAT IF I PUT LEECHES IN YOUR FUCKING EYES MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!  
 **Nadia** : THEYLL SUCK THAT WEAK MORTAL BLOOD RIGHT OUT OF YOUR FILTHY CORNEA AND THEN DO U KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN!!!!  
 **Nadia** : YOU WILL BE BLIND🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯  
 **Nadia** : 😑😑😑😑 (DATS YOU BEING BLIND)

 **julian** : What the fuck

 **aswa** : nadi are u OKAY?  
 **aswa** : please tell me im dreaming ilya i cant do this aanymroe all i said was hello and now this happens

 **julian** : No asra you are wide awake and everything that is happening is VERY real  
 **julian** : Because i can't go through this alone

 **aswa** : im genuinely worried oh my god is nadia alright??? WHERE DID SHE GO

 **Nadia** : SHE FUCKIN DEAD🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 WHAT DO U WANT!!!! U ARE THE DOG SHIT THAT WONT GET OFF THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOE  
 **Nadia** : God, I am so sorry.

 **julian** : Jesus i just got whiplash  
 **julian** : i think Asra has rightly passed away

 **Nadia** : Tell him that I'm okay! My coworker snatched my phone from me.

 **julian** : Nadia, with all due respect to your royal highness-ship, who the SHIT do you work with

 **Nadia** : They're called Vulgora. Very...hot-headed as you can see. I'll try to keep them away from my phone but I can't promise that you'll never hear from them again.

 **aswa** : my knees r shaking  
 **aswa** : there is sweat Dripping Down My Throat :[

 **julian** : God thats sexy  
 **julian** : Anyway

 **Nadia** : Oh no, Julian, you're welcome to complete that sentence.

 **aswa** : EVERYONE TIME OUT  
 **aswa** : ILYA CONTROL YOUR HORNY LEVELS, NADIA CONTROL YOUR WEIRD FUCKING FRIEND, ME CONTROL YOUR HEAVY BREATHING

 **Nadia** : Vulgora's been subdued, Asra, we'll be fine.  
 **Nadia** : I was planning to tell you about a friend that they brought along to work today, but I don't think you're ready to hear it.

 **julian** : Oh no go on tell us about this friend ;)

 **aswa** : do not tell us about this friend

 **Nadia** : Lucio Morgasson.

 **aswa** : of COURSE its him -_-  
 **aswa** : hes obsessed with us he wont leave us alone  
 **aswa** : stick a leech up his ass

 **julian** : You can't go around plagiarising my work asra thats illegal!!!  
 **julian** : But uh. Do that.

 **Nadia** : Would you guys believe me if I told you he's behaving politely?

 **julian** : no

 **aswa** : no

 **Nadia** : Ah.

 **julian** : What do u mean AH. Give us some evidence your Grace. show us the Polite and Honourable Count Lucio

 **Nadia** : _[Attached video]_

_Video transcript: [Lucio speaking] ...and then I spilled the wine over his head! Just like [making some wine-spilling gestures] THAT! Man, he looked sooo pissed. Served him right for talking to my mother like that. Did you hear that, Noddy? I would've loved it if you'd been there, that was a lovely white wine...[end of video]_

**aswa** : nadi thats POLITE to u????

 **Nadia** : I mean, he did it for his mother! And he mentioned my favourite type of wine.

 **julian** : Oh god shes got the hots  
 **julian** : Somebody put God on the phone IMMEDIATELY

 **aswa** : this is the worst day of my life  
 **aswa** : i feel pain ONLY PAIN

 **Nadia** : Now listen here, you two  
 **Nadia** : My first interaction with Lucio was me kicking him into his own pool.  
 **Nadia** : Does that really make you think I 'have the hots' for him?

 **julian** : Nadia, the first time asra and i met, he kicked me in the nuts  
 **julian** : and look at us now ;)))

 **aswa** : my dislike for u has not decreased in the slightest ilya  
 **aswa** : but he has a point nadi  
 **aswa** : this is the enemies to lovers au ive been dreading my entire life (T_T)

 **Nadia** : The what?

 **aswa** : oh forget it im in too much despair rn

 **Nadia** : Well, I'll leave you to mope in peace. Work is calling.

 **julian** : And a certain blond narcissistic kidnapper is too I'm sure ehhhhhh???

 **Nadia** : DO YOU EVER SHUT UP YOU STUPID LITTLE TWINK???!!!!👺👺👹👹

 **aswa** : you know, for once i cant tell if that was from vulgora or nadia herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short-ish chapter AGGHH hopefully theyll be longer in the future  
> didnt wanna make nadia het but here we are 

**Author's Note:**

> what do u do when ur ill and are suffering from major arcana brainrot?? write a chat fic of course!!! man


End file.
